Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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