I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
