wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We need to rekindle our bromance
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
