I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Rumble strips road head = magical
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
