His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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