i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
