well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
