another moral hangover. fuck.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
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Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
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I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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