you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
