He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
