Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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