You're a womanizer and a bitch.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
