pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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