I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize