I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
