Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
