every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
