i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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