And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
