Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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