we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
