Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
