It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize