Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
