I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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