overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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