mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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