I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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