My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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