Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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