I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
