Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
