I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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