Duck Duck Cougar?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
