i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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