I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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