Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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