I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
