today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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