____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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