Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
