Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
