I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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