He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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