So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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