i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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