is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
