you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
