i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
