turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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