actually, I'm a sock model
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
