Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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