i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize