i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think my moral compass just broke
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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