i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
