It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
