I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
