I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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