I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
this just has baby written all over it
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
